I would watch everything with subtitles or closed-captioning if I could.
It’s bad enough that you sting me in places that are awkward enough to scratch, but if you’re going to attack my forehead… couldn’t you have at least gotten my 11’s (those lines between my eyebrows)? It’s the only area that I would even consider botox at this point in my life. But hey, thanks for making me itchy. I really, really, appreciate it.
Your last delicious meal,